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A Mother's Regret

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I have made a mistake I can never undo 

I have left my baby behind

I told myself he’d be happier with his chosen father but, how much of that was just a lie

So I could give up

Be done

My little baby…

My son, can you ever forgive your mother? For leaving you, for leaving your father

No, probably not.

Not at all.

It’s okay. Your mother doesn’t forgive themself either.

You are welcome to hate me as much as you want…

How many nights have I lain awake and looked to the sky, imagining my baby’s face?

Imagining his life if I had stayed, had I just gotten him home, but I was selfish, I wanted to live too

I waited too long, out of wish to preserve my own life

Cowardice, selfishness, a mother should always do what is best for their children…

Perhaps I was too young to be a mother. Perhaps I am simply destined to never be a good mother at all.

My son, please remember that you are loved

Don’t act this way

You were born purely of love and wonder

Don’t spend your life taking that away from the world…

Then again, if your mother is really such an evil creature, perhaps you were poisoned from the start

I’m sorry.

I should have left you to your father

There was never a person as pure as your father. He would have taken care of you

The last time I have seen you truly smile, was so long ago

If you can find it in your heart, please believe your mother loves you

And when they look toward their new mate, when he smiles at them, a small stab pierces their heart, sorrow, knowingly betraying those they should be with..

I know I have made a mistake I cannot undo

But please, never think I did not love you
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Akekai's avatar
;n;..all the cry...